Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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