she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
