I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
