Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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