Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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