I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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