I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
