I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
