she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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