Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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