He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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