I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
