I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The best revenge is premature balding
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
