the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
