I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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