I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
