party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
