A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
