I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I will be naked everywhere
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
