What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
