hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
