For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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