I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like abortions should bother me more
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
