in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize