Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
