I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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