I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
