I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she peed on how many people?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
