Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got inside last night via doggy door
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
