This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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