my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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