a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Buhtt sex?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
