What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
