i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just google imaged poop.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
