I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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