Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
