If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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