Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
