Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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