haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I came so hard my ears popped.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
