i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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