I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Help. Why am I so naked?
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