what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
