wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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