it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
