He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
