Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
