I cannot find my penis.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
