I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
