It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
