And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
