good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
