You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
