thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
