it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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