i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
