In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
