i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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