Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
