he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
