Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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