whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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