I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
