Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize